“Follow your heart,” most people would say when I share my dreams and frustrations. The human heart is such a delicate and vital organ that we cannot live without. And it governs our lives from the moment it composes its first beat. Unlike the mainstream culture, especially in the Asian culture, I do tend to follow my heart most of the time and choose the roads less traveled. Lately, I kept hearing myself share a part of my past when a simple material comfort was a luxury. It was a time of homelessness, in between jobs and being frugal at every meal. Yet, looking back, that was the most motivating and fulfilling part of my life. It struck me that I’ve been longing for that passion towards life where I lived every day to the fullest and looked forward to what tomorrow will bring. It was a time full of hopes and missions. A time when I followed my heart but somehow left it behind on my way to the conventional success.
Maybe it’s just me. But it seems the more I have, the less content I am and vice versa. This is probably due to that thing we call “greed.” It’s been several years since I had to worry about my next meal. And it has been similar number of years that I feel passionless. There are still many things I’d like to do and places I’d like to explore, though. But as I get older, my brain seems to take over the operation while the heart gets demoted to an assistant position. Maybe this is my heart’s protest; its asking for attention. There’s an urge I cannot explain. An unstoppable urge to change how I live my current life. But what do I change it into? The brain decides to go on a strike when I pay more attention to the heart. Would they ever sync and work together again like the good old days? Which do I listen to when they don’t agree with each other?