Doubt

The “benefit” of the doubt as we say, indicates the positive side of having doubts. Being cynical as I am, I tend not to believe or trust until seeing lots of visible results that support a theory to be real. This goes with how I deal with many different aspects of my life. Take religion for example, though most of my personal belief indicates one particular religion, I refuse to wear a label because I cannot bring myself to believe what I cannot see. Yet at the same time, I believe in the existence of God and many unseen and unexplainable sensations. Also, I do not always agree that one can only believe what one can see. After all, human knowledge can be limited. This doubtful mind of mine surely brings me benefits, while leading me to destruction at the same time.

Lately, I wonder real reason I doubt. Is it because not everything is what it seems? Or, do I do so to make myself believe that life is depressing and reality is cruel so that I’m emotionally more equipped to handle the downs of life. Today, a friend pointed out that I will not get any conclusion by running in this circle of suspicion. I’ve also once come to the conclusion that living in this world of vagueness is why religion survives. It does make me feel calmer and more certain while knowing there is a support that I’ll never be rejected from. This suspicion, nature to question and challenge; however, also pushed me away from many blessings. After all, the ability to believe in good without needing any conventional reasons that are convincing to a common mind, takes a lot of energy and a strong will.

Yet, I suppose, when in doubt, focus on our inner selves and do whatever is guaranteed to bring happiness to them. Really need to stop being a control freak and live for the moments of life. What’s meant to be, will be.

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