Have been feeling dislocated in life for a long time. First, I thought it’s the geolocation – I’m not where I want to be. This is only true in some perspectives, as there are other places I rather be than here. My travel experience has taught me that life in general is not very different elsewhere. Things will get old and routines will make me feel desperate for change wherever I am.
Went to Costco for the first time today after being home in Taiwan. It made me feel at home and mentally dislocated at the same time. Intellectually, I know it is just a place many people go as part of the routines in their lives. Emotionally, flashbacks of the life I was tired of but miss dearly now, went through my head like a movie reel. At this time of my life, I am in need of reality check. There are things I emotionally can’t wait to jump into just to get out of this island, while my rationality tells me to be patient.
The question I keep asking myself is, what will give me a sense of belonging and satisfaction? I know now that materials, powers and social status do not fill my emptiness. As hard as I try to find my passion, nothing concrete seems to burn very long inside of me. Do we must have a purpose in life? Does everything need a reason? Is that how I’m programmed to think? Is there really something missing or is that what the society wants me to believe? Is there a cure for mental dislocation?